I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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