Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
