Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize