I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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