walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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