quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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