Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
