He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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