In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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