i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
someone owes me an orgasm
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize