Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
