Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
