i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
