you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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