he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
