If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
