my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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