If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
