Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
