i'm signing you up for texting rehab
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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