We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
