i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
only if we run a train.
done.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
