I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
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So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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