apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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