Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
