I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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