eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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