If you die in college, do you die in real life?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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