Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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