sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
and eventually we just all took our pants off
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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