What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Acid is not a monday night drug
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
