I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
