I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
