i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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