im about as happy as oj after his trial
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize