so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
