i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
