so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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