Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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