You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
