You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Someone signed my nipple.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
