I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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