he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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