It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
