I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
