so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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