we're blogging at a bar
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
