Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
