Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
