Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize