Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
