my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
