Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have already put on my inside pants.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
