I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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