never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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