My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
