So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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