Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They took my balls.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
