My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
