very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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