why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
