i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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