Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
