Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
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I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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